Even if that has not happened to you, you've probably read a book or two, or perhaps you know someone that this has happened to. A head over heels love at first sight meeting. And it didn't stop there. Oh no! They did something drastic like getting married while riding elephants at the zoo or running away to Brazil. I know, you're sighing and thinking "that's so romantic!". But is it really?
I tend to go back and forth on this issue, mainly because I've been in both situations. There was the time I was the headstrong young woman who fell head-over-heels for an older man and after 3 months together, gave up my amazing apartment, moved in with him and started shopping for engagement rings.
A month after that, he attacked me. In retrospect, it wasn't such a good move after all. I'm glib about it now (coping mechanism, anyone?) but the truth is, at the time, it felt like my world had fallen apart: I was suddenly loveless, homeless and completely doubting my ability to read my feelings and instincts, something I had been very sure of my whole life up to this point. The whole thing was sudden, intense and just like a movie, in both the good and bad ways. And I had totally eaten it up.
I've been told that I should have been more discriminating and not so hasty in my decision. That could be. However, I made it out in one piece. And even if I could go back for a do over, I'm not sure that I'd do things any differently. I go from the heart, I always have, and I always will. That's who I am. If I put a buffer on my heart I wouldn't have experienced the emotions that I did; for better or worse.
I think that's the way a lot of leap before you look lovers look at things. Whatever may come, they risk taking the good with the bad. They never sacrifice the good to same themselves from potential bad. Without taking a chance on anything, the reason, you'll just end up an old sad bundle of middle ground. Life is simply too short not to chance an occasional extreme.
Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I'm all in favor of following one's heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.
I've dubbed people like this "love-bleweeds". Like tumbleweeds, they make a life out of rolling and tumbling around. They build up a relationship and a life with someone only to uproot it months later. Then they reconfigure themselves when the next one comes along. If they do this long enough, they'll forget what it's like to be calm and comfortable. Nor will they be able to exercise any follow through whatsoever.
If it makes some people happy to live like this then that's all well and good. What isn't okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next "soulmate" comes along and they drop everything, they're leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they're gone.
It's too rare and too unspeakably joyful to fall in love in a fast and intense way to not do it when it comes along. If you're lucky (and go around the block enough times), you'll perchance learn how to protect the rest of your life when it does, without sacrificing any of the amazing feelings. - 31991
I tend to go back and forth on this issue, mainly because I've been in both situations. There was the time I was the headstrong young woman who fell head-over-heels for an older man and after 3 months together, gave up my amazing apartment, moved in with him and started shopping for engagement rings.
A month after that, he attacked me. In retrospect, it wasn't such a good move after all. I'm glib about it now (coping mechanism, anyone?) but the truth is, at the time, it felt like my world had fallen apart: I was suddenly loveless, homeless and completely doubting my ability to read my feelings and instincts, something I had been very sure of my whole life up to this point. The whole thing was sudden, intense and just like a movie, in both the good and bad ways. And I had totally eaten it up.
I've been told that I should have been more discriminating and not so hasty in my decision. That could be. However, I made it out in one piece. And even if I could go back for a do over, I'm not sure that I'd do things any differently. I go from the heart, I always have, and I always will. That's who I am. If I put a buffer on my heart I wouldn't have experienced the emotions that I did; for better or worse.
I think that's the way a lot of leap before you look lovers look at things. Whatever may come, they risk taking the good with the bad. They never sacrifice the good to same themselves from potential bad. Without taking a chance on anything, the reason, you'll just end up an old sad bundle of middle ground. Life is simply too short not to chance an occasional extreme.
Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I'm all in favor of following one's heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.
I've dubbed people like this "love-bleweeds". Like tumbleweeds, they make a life out of rolling and tumbling around. They build up a relationship and a life with someone only to uproot it months later. Then they reconfigure themselves when the next one comes along. If they do this long enough, they'll forget what it's like to be calm and comfortable. Nor will they be able to exercise any follow through whatsoever.
If it makes some people happy to live like this then that's all well and good. What isn't okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next "soulmate" comes along and they drop everything, they're leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they're gone.
It's too rare and too unspeakably joyful to fall in love in a fast and intense way to not do it when it comes along. If you're lucky (and go around the block enough times), you'll perchance learn how to protect the rest of your life when it does, without sacrificing any of the amazing feelings. - 31991
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