The First Date Decisions

By David Synderhelm

You've been chatting online with a really great guy or gal and you've both been enjoying yourselves. You realize it's time to meet in person. While the prospect gives you delicious butterflies, you can't help but wonder whether to meet for just a coffee or a drink or if you should push the boat out and go for dinner.

Even more important, how do you decide who pays for the first date? In the past few years, the issue of money in relationships has become quite an issue. People divorce over it, argue over it and some people even end friendships because of it. Since dating is supposed to be fun, how does one bring up a subject that seems to ignite so many emotions?

It all depends on how comfortable to feel with your new internet dating sweetie. If talking about it doesn't present an issue, then by all means, bring it up. Tradition says that most men are open to paying for both at least initially. It's certainly easier and allows for the two people involved to talk about their interests rather than about money.

If you eventually do end up in a relationship things will progress naturally and the result is usually a fair exchange. Times have progressed and most women are more than willing to pay for things. But before you ever get to that point, here are a few things to consider;

1. Talk about when and where

This is important because you might want to meet at a certain time and he might be thinking about something totally different. For instance, as a woman you may feel more safe meeting during the day for lunch while he might enjoy the night life.

2. Discuss where you want to go.

Once you have decided what time of day you would like to meet, determine what it is you both would like to do? Are you interested in dinner, lunch, going to a museum or perhaps a movie?

3. Discuss dress attire.

While many first dates are pretty casual, where you go can determine what you wear. This might be something good to talk about so you can both be prepared and have the most comfortable first date possible.

The when, the where and the what have been decided. Now is the time for nature to run its course. First dates are all about getting to know each other, so do just that. Talk, listen and smile. If you want to bring up the subject of who pays, do so in a relaxed manner and if your date says "My treat", smile and say "Thank you". - 31991

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