Most of us have been in a relationship where we both know that there's a problem. It's that in between time; not quite together and not quite broken up. However, neither party wants to be the first to admit they want out.
Though the two people involved will present a united front to the outside world. But internally; well, that's a whole other story because there almost anything goes, and it's kid of scary! Let's examine the inner turmoil.
As you progress through the stage in between "together" and "broken up", the emotional distance, not to mention the actual physical distance, between you and your partner becomes bigger and bigger. And at a certain point that distance will become so great that you find yourself thinking more as a single person than as someone who is part of a couple.
Here are three things to look for. If you recognize yourself in these, it's time for a possibly uncomfortable talk with your partner. Do otherwise and you run the risk of actually acting like you're a free agent before you become one.
1. You are looking at and thinking about other people
And you aren't just scoping for fun, either. If you're actually looking at people other than the one you're technically with and thinking about approaching them, fantasizing (even just briefly) about what it would be like to be with them instead, or even weighing your options with other people against what you already have; these are all pretty solid signs that you're mentally checking out of your current relationship.
Let's face it; if you spend more time contemplating "what if" with other potential mates it's not a stretch to deduce that you aren't satisfied with what you have.
2. You'd rather be alone
A few years ago you'd have a bad day at work and come home to a lovely cuddle with your partner; it was the highlight of your day. Not anymore. Now the very thought of it is a sore point. It's become just one more thing you have to deal with. Instead, you're wishing for alone time.
I'm a big proponent of each partner having enough "me" time. Even the happiest of relationships benefit from it. If your lover's arms no longer offer you any comfort, then you have to ask yourself what you're doing there.
3. You make plans without him/her
There used to be a time, when your relationship was still magical, that breaking up never even entered into your thoughts. All your plans, immediate ones and those for the future, included your significant other. And you were both smiling and happy.
Once a relationship starts hitting some bumpy patches and you realize that, shock!, you are actually shakable, the future becomes a little less certain. And if things get really bad, to the point where you've gone back and forth contemplating ending things, you might find that you've mentally erased them from your plans. Maybe you didn't even realize you were doing it. In cases like these, your subconscious has pretty much made up your mind for you. - 31991
Though the two people involved will present a united front to the outside world. But internally; well, that's a whole other story because there almost anything goes, and it's kid of scary! Let's examine the inner turmoil.
As you progress through the stage in between "together" and "broken up", the emotional distance, not to mention the actual physical distance, between you and your partner becomes bigger and bigger. And at a certain point that distance will become so great that you find yourself thinking more as a single person than as someone who is part of a couple.
Here are three things to look for. If you recognize yourself in these, it's time for a possibly uncomfortable talk with your partner. Do otherwise and you run the risk of actually acting like you're a free agent before you become one.
1. You are looking at and thinking about other people
And you aren't just scoping for fun, either. If you're actually looking at people other than the one you're technically with and thinking about approaching them, fantasizing (even just briefly) about what it would be like to be with them instead, or even weighing your options with other people against what you already have; these are all pretty solid signs that you're mentally checking out of your current relationship.
Let's face it; if you spend more time contemplating "what if" with other potential mates it's not a stretch to deduce that you aren't satisfied with what you have.
2. You'd rather be alone
A few years ago you'd have a bad day at work and come home to a lovely cuddle with your partner; it was the highlight of your day. Not anymore. Now the very thought of it is a sore point. It's become just one more thing you have to deal with. Instead, you're wishing for alone time.
I'm a big proponent of each partner having enough "me" time. Even the happiest of relationships benefit from it. If your lover's arms no longer offer you any comfort, then you have to ask yourself what you're doing there.
3. You make plans without him/her
There used to be a time, when your relationship was still magical, that breaking up never even entered into your thoughts. All your plans, immediate ones and those for the future, included your significant other. And you were both smiling and happy.
Once a relationship starts hitting some bumpy patches and you realize that, shock!, you are actually shakable, the future becomes a little less certain. And if things get really bad, to the point where you've gone back and forth contemplating ending things, you might find that you've mentally erased them from your plans. Maybe you didn't even realize you were doing it. In cases like these, your subconscious has pretty much made up your mind for you. - 31991
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