There's no point in writing off perfectly good dates because they aren't, well, perfect. To my mind, honest imperfection is far more preferable to falsified flawlessness; when I date someone I expect honesty, warts and all. In the spirit of dating open mindedness, here are some common first impression blunders that you should think about forgiving.
Late
Chronic tardiness is annoying and, depending on how punctual you are and how much it bothers you, can totally be grounds for ceasing dating someone; after awhile. Don't immediately bash a dude because he's 20 minutes late for your first date. It might actually be a specific one-time situation. You always want to make sure something is truly a habit before you go in for the dump.
They talk too much or not enough
Remember the conversation skills you had when you were six years old? Well some people revert back to those skills when they're in the company of someone who makes them nervous. If you're on a date with someone who goes on and on about his grandmother's heart surgery, or simply not saying much of anything, treat it as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn't too awful! Let's hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
Getting your name wrong
I really don't understand why some people take this so personally and get all offended. It doesn't take more than a bit of thinking to realize that the other person meant no offence, they just had a momentary lapse. That can happen to any of us at one time or another.
It's a first date and the point here is that you don't know each other yet. Maybe your smile reminded her of her friend John and that's why she called you John. John's characteristics and name have already been imprinted in her brain, yours hasn't. Now it's another thing entirely if she calls you John when you've been dating for six months and you're sharing romantic times! However, a slip up like this on the first date is not only understandable, it's also totally forgivable.
Getting drunk
Sigh. I've been this girl and let me tell you, it's not worth holding against someone, this whole accidentally-getting-hammered-on-the-first-date thing. I am intelligent and charming and witty and, darn it, I'm not an alcoholic! (Can you tell the guy never called again and I'm a little bitter?) It's the whole nervous thing again.
I would go so far as to say that most, if not all, common first date missteps are the result of nerves. Sometimes you need a drink to take the edge off. Sometimes you need 5. Shrug. Let it go; if they are the kind of person who will regularly get embarrassingly drunk in public, it won't take long to figure that out. Might as well not jump to conclusions while you're figuring it out. - 31991
Late
Chronic tardiness is annoying and, depending on how punctual you are and how much it bothers you, can totally be grounds for ceasing dating someone; after awhile. Don't immediately bash a dude because he's 20 minutes late for your first date. It might actually be a specific one-time situation. You always want to make sure something is truly a habit before you go in for the dump.
They talk too much or not enough
Remember the conversation skills you had when you were six years old? Well some people revert back to those skills when they're in the company of someone who makes them nervous. If you're on a date with someone who goes on and on about his grandmother's heart surgery, or simply not saying much of anything, treat it as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn't too awful! Let's hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
Getting your name wrong
I really don't understand why some people take this so personally and get all offended. It doesn't take more than a bit of thinking to realize that the other person meant no offence, they just had a momentary lapse. That can happen to any of us at one time or another.
It's a first date and the point here is that you don't know each other yet. Maybe your smile reminded her of her friend John and that's why she called you John. John's characteristics and name have already been imprinted in her brain, yours hasn't. Now it's another thing entirely if she calls you John when you've been dating for six months and you're sharing romantic times! However, a slip up like this on the first date is not only understandable, it's also totally forgivable.
Getting drunk
Sigh. I've been this girl and let me tell you, it's not worth holding against someone, this whole accidentally-getting-hammered-on-the-first-date thing. I am intelligent and charming and witty and, darn it, I'm not an alcoholic! (Can you tell the guy never called again and I'm a little bitter?) It's the whole nervous thing again.
I would go so far as to say that most, if not all, common first date missteps are the result of nerves. Sometimes you need a drink to take the edge off. Sometimes you need 5. Shrug. Let it go; if they are the kind of person who will regularly get embarrassingly drunk in public, it won't take long to figure that out. Might as well not jump to conclusions while you're figuring it out. - 31991
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