First Date Jitters And Jerks

By Astrid Engels

People who use internet dating to find a date are usually pretty well versed in how to keep their nerves from showing. When meeting someone for the first time it's natural for our stomachs to be full of butterflies! So we're good, but what can you do when your date is not so at ease? Read on for some tips;

The thing about someone being overly nervous is that it gets in the way of communication. Since a first date is all about getting to better know someone, it stands to reason that those nerves may put a damper on that. Your date may very well be excited about finally meeting you, but it's obvious that he or she is finding the whole thing just a tad overwhelming.

Usually I approach this head on, in a kind and non critical way. Simply acknowledge that you understand their nervousness and admit that you feel the same way (even if you don't, it's kinder this way). Suggest to your date that you both put those feelings aside. Recommend that you both lighten up a bit and have some fun, then lead by example.

With a bit of luck your date will follow suit and the date will progress as it should. What if your date doesn't follow your lead? You can do only so much. After all, it's a date not a therapy session. If your date simply doesn't warm up there's no reason to be rude, but you might want to consider making it an early night. It's possible that your date is always reserved. It's also possible that he or she needs to ease into things and your second date will be much better.

Great, you both have your nerves under control and you're actually talking like normal people. Unfortunately an hour into your date you've come to the conclusion that this guy or gal is not just a bit of a jerk, oh no, he or she is a TOTAL jerk. What do you do now?

Which is a bit baffling! He has a job working with small animals and his nieces and nephews think he's the greatest uncle in the world. But he's a jerk! Not to you, but to everyone else around like the waitress. His emails were sweet and charming, but his manner to the stranger who bumped into him in line is anything but.

Yeah, you really can't predict these kinds of things. Unfortunately, even if the anger isn't directed at you, you probably want to cut and run from this one. For starters, there's the possibility that at some point, it could be you he's mad at and that's just too risky. At the least, he's definitely got some deeper issues that you don't want to take on in the beginning.

As harsh as this may sound, dating someone like this is kind of like buying an already sick kitten. Though it's true that all kittens may have problems at some point in the future, that shouldn't stop you from casting your net and catching the one that appears to be the healthiest. - 31991

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