Should You Be Part-time Lovers and Full-time Friends

By Abigayle Karla

Unlike many people, your best buddy is of the opposite sex. But despite that fact, you have been the best of friends since childhood. You went to school together, got in the same games and fights, and supported each other through good and bad times. However, something seems to be changing with how you look at and treat your best friend. You think you are falling in love with him or her.

Let's first check out the benefits. You already know your partner. You know what is important to him or her; what he or she has been through; what he or she is capable of; his or her fears; his or her family, work, and relationship history; and others. Additionally, you already know your closest pal's character; temperament; and pet peeves. You have been through good and bad times, and have a naturally deep commitment to each other. You also value each other highly. Finally, you already know how to work as a team through the games and pranks that you played. You have respect, faith in each other, and open communication.

Next, let's examine the cons. Dating may ruin the friendship completely if it doesn't work out for any reason. Many factors can cause a breakup: say higher expectations as lovers than as friends. Additionally, the breakup could ruin relationships with mutual friends.

Your friendship with your best friend already has these elements. You have good communication because you know exactly how to listen when you need to, and when to be brutally frank. You also know your friend's personality; temperaments; pet peeves; what is important to him or her; what your friend has been through; his or her fears; what he or she is capable of; his or her family, work, and relationship history; and others. Because of this and the fact that you have been together for so long, you also value each other highly. Finally, you already know how to work as a team through the games and pranks that you played. You also have a naturally deep commitment for each other.

Relationship experts all agree that enduring relationships continuously need involvement, open communication, mutual respect, cooperation, and commitment. Listen when you need to, say sincerely how you feel, and tell your partner what you expect. When making decisions, be considerate to each other. Never forget to show how much you love him or her. Agree on what is important and what is not. And, finally, set career, family, and personal goals together.

When dating your best friend explore and do things you have not done before. Keep an element of surprise and mystery, so that there is always something to look forward to and to keep from getting bored with each other. The willingness to make the relationship work is very important. Otherwise, it would be best not to date each other at all, and just remain best friends. - 31991

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