Don't Let Herpes Dictate Your Dating Life

By Jayde Johanssen

You're just back from the doctor, and the tests confirmed your fear: you've contracted herpes. It might take a little time to get used to the idea that you'll have this Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) for the rest of your life, but it's certainly not the end of the world. Folks that have herpes are just like everyone else; the only difference is that they need to exercise a bit more caution before engaging in sexual activity.

First, we'll start with a bit of an introduction. Herpes is a virus that is transmitted when an infected person engages in sexual activity with a partner. It's important to note once more that, at least for the moment, herpes doesn't have a cure, and stays with the host for the rest of his or her life. Sporadically, the virus manifests itself into blisters and sores that can be itchy and irritable.

You're probably wondering what herpes means as it relates to your dating life. The biggest thing is honesty; you'll want to tell your potential partners up front about what the infection is, how it can affect them, and the risks they endure by engaging in sexual activity with them. Of course, you don't have to go through all of this over the first dinner date. The main thing to avoid is having the conversation right before you get into bed for your first time. Talk about a mood killer! The result is usually tears and angry, slammed doors. Avoid this situation by being frank and open early in the relationship.

Also, be sure to check out sites and services tailored specifically to people who carry the herpes virus. Think about the many benefits associated with going through these kinds of sites; there's nothing left to chance. Everyone knows upfront the risks of getting involved with another infected person, and you'll never have to endure the awkwardness of explaining what herpes is all about. This could also be your chance to find someone who can provide emotional support.

Most people who carry the herpes virus only have visible symptoms some of the time. That's not an excuse to keep the fact that you have herpes to yourself, because you can pass it along at any time, regardless of whether there's anything showing or not.

When you do suffer from an outbreak, make sure to avoid having sex. The chances of passing along herpes are much greater if open sores or blisters are visible. There are certain drugs on the market that work to control your outbreaks. Though they can be quite expensive, there is no price on making sure that you're protecting your partner as best as possible.

And of course, always wear protection. Condoms aren't bulletproof in this situation, but they certainly go a long way towards keeping you and your partners safe. Herpes is just one of the many STD's out there; others include AIDS and Hepatitis, both of which have very serious consequences.

When everything's said and done, remember that the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with will love without regard to whether you have herpes or not. This is only one bit of your life, and not something that needs to define you. - 31991

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